Growing pains

It's only a matter of time. I have to be strong. I have to stand by my beliefs. I'm not rock bottom. This is my meditation time. I don't have to see her now. I don't have to layan her now. I am at one with the universe.

I've never been as hurt as recently. She sounded like my mom/dad/grandad giving me a lecture today. I'm also very distressed that my external hard drive is missing. Everything is on it. Everything. I don't wanna waste money buying a new one now. Not now.

I'm also feeling very vulnerable. Feels like whoever that takes advantage of me first would really get to me. I have to start hanging around my guy friends. At least they are not as confronting.

I need a source of inspiration. I need my music. I need to be strong. Just tell yourself to be strong.

If you were to ask me whether I'm happy right now or not, I would say "not yet".

In the end, nobody really wants to listen to my story. Not yet. I need someone who will. Someone who's actually interested in my story, and not full of their own only.

I was told that I was a rare breed. So where do I find someone like me?

Perhaps that's where I need God. But I don't. It's just my own doubts, fears and scars playing on me again.

To hope for the best, the absolute best and not expect it, is really the best thing you can ever do to yourself. You have some objective that is the sky, and when you hit it, it will be the sky. I will hit the sky.

I will hit the sky.